Getting To Know Myself || 50 Thought Provoking Questions To Ask Yourself

Sun, May 5, 2013 No Comments by Miss Daja

Have you ever sat back and realized that you don’t know yourself as well as you thought you did? Well, you’re not the only one. Thoughts run through our minds daily and we may not realize how much control we have over our minds but that is simply because we’re not always honest with ourselves. Give yourself a chance to ask the right questions honestly and your mind and possibly your actions will change. I’ve come up with 50 questions for you and I to ask ourselves so don’t be afraid to answer them. Your answers may scare you or simply motivate you. It’s up to you.

01. Who am I?
02. What am I passionate about?
03. What do I have to lose if I just did that one thing I’ve always wanted to do?
04. When was the last time I tried something new?
05. What is one change I can make about myself to bring more peace and happiness to my life?
06. Am I proud to tell people where I work?
07. When was the last time I was proud of myself?
08. What would I do differently if I knew others wouldn’t judge me?
09. Do I ask enough questions or do I settle for what I know?
10. How much of my spirituality plays a role in my life?
11. If I could choose one song to describe my life, what would it be?
12. Do the 5 people I spend the most time with reflect who I am, want to be and achieve in life?
13. What habits would I like to quit? pick up?
14. When do I feel the most inspired? (morning, night, after talking to a specific someone, etc)
15. Am I content with my current state of finances?
16. How can I make more money doing what I love?
17. What do I want more of in my life? (list it)
18. What do I want less of in my life? (list it)
19. What am I afraid of?
20. What and who makes me smile?
21. Did I do my best today?
22. Who would cry the most at my funeral?
23. What am I most grateful for?
24. Do I make people feel good about themselves?
25. Do I allow other people to talk to me the way I sometimes talk to myself?
26. Do I take the advice I tend to give?
27. Is there anything or anyone from my past that I need to let go of that is holding me back from my future?
28. If there were no limitations on money, how would I live my life?
29. What do I want to accomplish in 1 year, 3 years, 5 and 10 years?
30. How many times have I been in love?
31. What have I learned from each relationship?
32. What do I want in an ideal partner?
32. What are my best qualities?
34. When was the last time I said “no” to someone?
35. How important is other people’s opinions about me, to me?
36. Am I settling in life?
37. How much am I willing to sacrifice to make my dreams become my reality?
38. Do I tend to compare myself to others?
39. What does a perfect day for me consist of from morning to night?
40. What good qualities that the people I admire, share?
41. When is the last time I visited a doctor for a clean bill of health? (dentist, physical, eye exams, etc)
42. What has been my greatest achievement this far?
43. How do I want to leave this earth and be remembered?
44. What are my favorite hobbies?
45. What does happiness look like to me?
46. What is my deepest secret?
47. Am I a great friend to others?
48. Who are the 3 people who have had the greatest influence on me in the past and the 3 in the present?
49. Do I listen more to my heart or to my brain?
50. What has been the biggest change for me in the last 5 years?

If answered with 100% honesty, some of these questions just may spark a change in you. But you will never know until you do it.

Tagged Girl Talk, recommendations, Self Love

Ladies, the moment you feel intimidated by man, read this!

Wed, April 17, 2013 No Comments by Miss Daja

There’s a rumor going around that boys are tougher than girls! Oh, please. Can you carry an 8pound baby in your stomach for 9 months and survive hours of labor? Can you cook, clean, and talk on the phone all at the same time? Can you bleed for a week and not die? Can you walk in 5 inch heels? Can you cry all night then wake up the next day like everything is okay?

Remember guys, WOMEN ARE ONLY HELPLESS UNTIL THEIR NAIL POLISH DRIES!

(I found this floating around on facebook and thought I would share)

Tagged Self Love

Are You Color Blind? Since When Did My Skin Tone Define My Beauty?

Sun, April 7, 2013 4 Comments by Miss Daja

Tagged BEAUTY, Confidence, Girl Talk, Self Love

Don’t lose yourself. – Motivation

Tue, March 5, 2013 2 Comments by Miss Daja

THE WOMAN THAT CAN CREATE HER OWN JOB IS THE WOMAN THAT WILL WIN!
EXPAND YOUR MIND, SUCCEED IN YOUR CAREER AND FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF BEFORE YOU BEGIN TO SEEK A MAN AND WHAT HE CAN DO FOR YOU.
WE LOVE HARD AND SOMETIMES WE FORGET WHO WE ARE. SO IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT, WE’RE COMPLETELY GONE. TO PREVENT THAT, YOU MUST
TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST.!.

Tagged motivation, Self Love

Gratitude Jar! What Are You Thankful For?

Sun, February 24, 2013 4 Comments by Miss Daja

Tagged art, Self Love

Dear Young Girl,

Sun, February 24, 2013 1 Comment by Miss Daja

First of all, I want to start off by telling you that being a young lady is a beautiful gift. Not only are we able to become anything we want to be in life but we are also able to create life. I want to let you know that your confidence, self respect, and self esteem are key components to truly knowing yourself. Most women (and I say this including myself), have a bad habit of allowing others (mainly men) to control our moods and emotions. But we must take back that control. It’s time that we give ourselves the credit, the ability, and the courage to know who we are and what we are able to do with our power. 1.Listen to your parents. If your parents aren’t good role models, find a mentor or a figure that has a positive influence on you. One that when speaking, can grasp all of your attention and make you want to get out into the world and make a difference in someone else’s life. 2.Practice the gift of giving. I promise you it will come back when you least expect it. 3.I want you to wake up being thankful for that bed you slept in. 4.I want you to look yourselves in the mirror and smile when you see your reflection.

I know you are at the age where peer pressure is at an all time high. It seems as though all of the cool kids get a lot of attention but I want to let you know that you don’t have to be popular to stand out. You are already amazing and one of a kind by truly being yourself. I want to let you know that whatever circumstances you are facing in this world, y o u a r e n o t a l o n e. I want you to understand that as a lady, you have the right to express yourself. It’s okay to laugh at your own jokes. It’s okay to cry when you are feeling sad. Because to truly express these emotions means that you are living. Once you realize that you are living, you will indeed become grateful and realize your true purpose in life.

Hold your dreams close to your heart and don’t ever let anybody take that away from you. It only takes for you to believe in yourself before you make positive and purpose filled steps toward your future. Follow your intuition, not your friends. If something doesn’t sit well with you then it probably isn’t good for you. Do not ignore your gut feelings. And most importantly, choose your company wisely. The people we spend the most time with have the power of pursuasion. If they aren’t making you happy and/or a difference in your life or others, then they are probably wasting your time. I am proud of you thus far young girl. Until next time…

Tagged Self Love

Self Love Is The Best Love – Shanel Cooper-Sykes

Wed, February 13, 2013 No Comments by Miss Daja

YOU COOK FOR HIM. Clean for him. Spend your time, energy and money on him. Give your body & mind to him. Pull out your best tricks in the bedroom. Run errands for him. Take care of his kids. Put up with his B.S. Do things you know you don’t want to do. You deal with his flaws. Pause your own dreams so he can live his. Forgive him time after time. You listen to him. You’re patient with him. You respect him. Believe in him. And LOVE every ounce of his soul.

Wonderful things for a woman to do!!!

>>>BUT THIS IS A SET UP FOR FAILURE & MISERY if you don’t do it for YOU FIRST!!! You can not pour into a man ( or anybody ) from an empty cup. You will always feel undervalued, sad, and frustrated UNTIL you learn to love you FIRST<<<

Doing these things should be your JOY. Not your pain.

Self Love is the best love. PERIOD

Tagged quote, Self Love

Valentine’s Day Survival Kit for The Single Woman

Sat, February 9, 2013 2 Comments by Miss Daja

Ladies, ladies, ladies… As we get closer to Valentine’s Day or Singles Awareness Day as some of you may call it, I’ve been approached by several of you asking for tips for those of you spending this day of love alone. I immediately went back to all of the years that I spent Valentine’s Day without a man (and trust me, it’s more than I thought), the gifts (none to remember) and the bragging rights (not the best) and tried to remember the things that got me through the day. I hate to say it but although we’re supposed to be strong women with “I Love Me” written on our foreheads, as single women, we get lonely too. Now don’t get me wrong, you absolutely have to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin as well as comfortable spending quality time alone and especially on days like this. I make it my business weekly to schedule “ME time” and “date nights” by myself because as I get older, it’s important for me to always stay true to myself and not get sidetracked by noise, other people and social media. Regardless if I am in a relationship or single at the moment and I love every bit of my time spent alone. But as I mentioned earlier, a girl just wants a little bit of attention on Valentine’s Day. So here are some things that I’ve come up with to get you through this day if you are single. Smile it’s just ONE day.

For one, if you’ve been a reader of No Boiz Allowed for some time now, you should have created plenty of affirmations because on holidays like this, they come in handy. We want to find creative ways to remind ourselves how beautiful we are, how worthy we are and how appreciated we are. Even if we truly are the only ones that feel that way, the more love you give to yourself, the person who comes into your life won’t be able to help but do the same. My Vday Survival Kit for The Single Woman consist of: Affirmations - self reminders, a book (Be Your Own Boyfriend - this book is a must have) – can get you lost in time and deep in thought, an addictive movie series (Sex And The City) – can have you in character and cheering on the actresses as if you were playing her role, a vibrator (let’s not act like you weren’t thinking it) – to make yourself feel good. Who needs a man? right?, Flowers – hey, it’s the thought that counts, a box of chocolates (maybe 2 boxes) – why not? Let go of your diet for one day please., a bottle of your favorite champagne – toast to self love. These are just a few things that can make any girl feel good for a day so I suggest making it a habit so when Valentine’s Day does come around, you’re not left sitting around pouting because you don’t feel loved.

REMINDER: Single doesn’t equate to loneliness and being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re happy.

What about your friends? I’m sure you’re not the ONLY one in your circle of friends spending Valentine’s Day alone. Now is the time to throw that sleepover you’ve always thought about. Friends are there to pick each other up when you’re down so what makes this day any different? Take a few hours of your day to have a Girls Night In or Girls Night Out with your favorite single ladies. After all this day is about love, no matter who it’s coming from.

Girls Night In To Do List:

-Pajamas
-Lots of junk food (just for one night)
-Movies
-Dinner (which may consist of ice cream, chocolate, strawberries, popcorn and all of that no good food)
-Mani’s/Pedi’s
-Facials
-Games (twister, dominos, monopoly, truth or dare, etc.)
-Gift exchange

Be creative, have fun and enjoy this day for what it truly represents. Love. That includes self love too.

What are your Valentine’s Day Plans?

Tagged Girl Talk, love relationships and the single woman, Self Love, Valentine's Day

How letting go of my past has allowed me to move forward. – Let it burn, let it fly, let it float – LET IT GO!

Wed, January 30, 2013 No Comments by Miss Daja

Last November I gave you all an exercise that I had come up with in hopes of letting go of my past. Check out the previous Let It Go post HERE. I gave you all the option of expressing your past hurt and either stuffing it into a bottle to let it float, filling it into a balloon, blowing the balloon up and letting your past fly away or simply throwing your past hurt into a burning fire and letting it burn. On December 27th I chose to let mine burn. My experience was a little awkward if I do say so myself.

For one, I was surrounded by 3 other individuals that knew of my plans but didn’t participate. Although they encourage and support everything I do, I probably would have been better off being by myself to actually deal with what I was doing head on. I will say after the letters and negativity was burned, I took a moment to reflect on a few things and then I freed myself of my past. It was an instant relief as though a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I wanted to cry and pray but I didn’t but I saved that for a little later. In the present moment I simply walked away from the fire place and smiled. I immediately took to Instagram to share with my followers my experience. I appreciate the love and support from each individual it may have impacted. Not only was I proud of the leap I just took but I was excited to see what my future had in store for me. A future without the chains from my past holding on to me. My chain had finally been broken. I was free.

I closed the year of 2012 out with love. In my forgiveness letters, I expressed everything that caused me pain from specific individuals to negative traits about myself that I no longer wanted controlling my life. And even though I didn’t have any intentions on giving them the letters, it felt good to just pour out my heart and the truth instead of keeping it bottled inside. I ended this experience with forgiveness. Forgiveness is the truest form of growth. No longer will my past or other people’s actions rent space in my life for free. Stress is too expensive to hold on to and I simply can’t afford it. On this day of January 30th I truly feel much more relaxed and carefree. I encourage you to try it out for yourself. Let it go.

Tagged EXPAND YOUR MIND, Girl Talk, Self Love, tips

The Confident Woman – Are You Her?

Wed, January 23, 2013 4 Comments by Miss Daja

Have you ever walked into a room full of women and the majority were standing around looking as if they were above the crowd until this beautiful, confident woman walks in and all eyes are on her? Yes, it happens quite often. But the question I usually have is, are you mad at the woman whom takes pride in knowing she can grab the attention of the room? Or are you upset with yourself because you feel that you can’t? You want to know the difference between you and her?

Confidence is simply knowing who you are and what you’re capable of doing. Confident women are aware of their weaknesses but they don’t give energy to that part of life. They enhance their strengths and become the best at it. Confident women are sure of their flaws and become comfortable enough with it so other people aren’t able to use the flaws against them. Is this you? Are you confident?

This is where I encourage my family, friends and blog readers to spend a lot of time with yourself. Get to know your authentic self. This is where character is built. When tough situations arise, your moment is defined. So yes, it’s okay to put yourself in uncomfortable situations so that you’re able to learn new things about yourself and challenge yourself to always do your best.

Of course I can’t end this blog without giving you a few exercises.

CONFIDENCE EXERCISE || Make a list of your strengths – What are you good at? What are you great at? Write those things down. How can you get better? Are you spending too much time focused on your weaknesses? Are you making money from your strength(s)? If not, next to each strength listed, jot down ways to create income from it. Ex:

STRENGTH: Communication – coaching, tutor, motivational speaker, mentor, PR, etc

Make a list of your weaknesses – outsource them. Find ways to eliminate or pay someone to do the job for you. If you know that you are not strong, good or have time to waste on Graphic Designing, hire someone to design your flyers, business cards and future images so that you aren’t wasting time or taking away time to be great in another area.

Instead of wasting time focusing on your weaknesses, sometimes it isn’t worth it. I was taught to enhance my 7′s into 10′s instead of focusing on turning my 2′s into 5′s. (on a scale of strengths)

So now that you have acknowledged your weaknesses and understand where your greatness lies, it’s time to put things into action. Then and only then will you begin to see a difference in your confidence. Knowing what you know now, are you the woman with or the woman without confidence?

IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS A CONFIDENT WOMAN?

Tagged BEAUTY, Confidence, Girl Talk, Self Love