Girl Talk

#iAmBeautiful Twitter Chat Recap – See How It All Went Down

#iAmBeautiful

Saturday Sept. 7th at 9AM PST / 12 Noon EST kicked off No Boiz Allowed‘s 1st ever Twitter Chat as an introduction to the I Am Beautiful Movement and Campaign. I had the pleasure of interviewing LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models, live while the participating audience engaged in the conversation as well. The overall chat was amazing as we discussed topics about Self Love, Image and Confidence. The ladies brought their A-Game and honesty to the table and we may have even gained a few friends along the way. Yes, new friends. No thanks to Drake. There was a total of 33 women and even 2 fellas chatting away at once and I am completely grateful for all of your support. In case you missed it, here is a recap of the interview itself between myself and @MsEthnicity

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Q1. AS A TEENAGE MOM, WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION TO OVERCOME THE OBSTACLES YOU FACED AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE?
A1. Having to struggle motivated me to want more for my daughter so she wouldn’t have to face the same obstacles.

Q2. WHAT ARE THE KEY COMPONENTS WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS MUST HAVE TO BUILDING ONES SELF-ESTEEM?
A2. A few keys to building self esteem: learn to love yourself, not seeking validation from others, stop comparing yourself. Not comparing yourself to others is one of the key factors in overcoming low self esteem. Also realize that building self esteem is very similar to working out. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a continual process. Delete negative ppl out your life. Others negative words and thoughts is like throwing gasoline on a fire.

Q3. IT’S EASY TO SAY TO SOMEONE “BE YOURSELF” BUT HOW DO WE GO ABOUT FIGURING OUT WHO WE TRULY ARE?
A3. I recommend using daily positive thought affirmations, that helps reprogram ur subconscious mind. “I love myself, I am beautiful just the way God made me and everybody loves me!”  is a good one. If the negative ppl are family members it’s okay to love them from a distance. Everyone doesn’t have to be in your everyday life. Finding out who you really are requires being totally open, honest with yourself about yourself!

We often build up false images about ourselves in order to cope with the things we don’t like about who we are. We have to get butt naked to our soul, drop all the masks and be honest about our faults, who we are, what we want and what we need. We often build who we think we are based off the opinions of others, past life experiences, our environment etc. We have to let all of that go andgo within! You can only find your true self by dropping all false identities.

Q4. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY CAN WE PLACE ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN REGARDS TO OUR SELF-ESTEEM?
A4. We should place 0 responsibility on social media for our self esteem it’s called “SELF” esteem not “others” esteem. Social media gives people a false sense of validation. A bunch of strangers opinions have nothing to do with who you really are. Self esteem isn’t what others think, it’s what and how you feel about yourself truly on the inside. Social media should be used to have fun and sell whatever the hell it is u are selling! Anything else is hog wash! Don’t believe the hype!

Q5. GIRLS GROWING UP W/O POSITIVE INFLUENCES, WHO ARE SOME PEOPLE THEY CAN LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE & HOW DO WE MAKE OURSELVES AVAILABLE TO PLAY THAT ROLE IN THEIR LIVES?
A5. Self help books can be one of the best ways of guidance for girls without positive roles models in their lives. Also the Internet is our best friend. You can listen to positive people like Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, Oprah and others online. As women we can volunteer with young girls and women organizations targeted to help women…we can also simply live by example.

Q6. HOW DO WE TEACH OUR YOUNG GIRLS TO BE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN THE SKIN THEY’RE IN? (HAIR, SKIN COMPLEXION, BODY IMAGE, ETC)
A6. Teaching young girls to be confident with themselves has to start at an early age. It starts at home. Having dolls that reflect the way they look help in a major way with girls looking at themselves as beautiful. Turn the tv off! We don’t want tv dictating how our kids feel about themselves based off of images on tv. Studying history about women that look like them at a early age helps with building self esteem. Involving young girls in activities that make them feel better about them selves is a good way as well.

Q7. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY DO WE PLACE ON OURSELVES FOR THE NEGATIVE WAY SOME MEN TREAT US? DO WE MAKE IT OKAY?
A7. We dictate how people treat us! If you accept negative treatment, you receive negative treatment. Also the energy we resonate about how we feel about ourselves dictate how people treat us. Look up quantum physics. Treat yourself like a queen, act like a queen and be treated like a queen! Settle for nothing less!

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And that was only LaShawnna’s answers. The other ladies went in as well and made really great points. But by then, I was placed in twitter jail from tweeting, retweeting and talking too much (side eye). However, that didn’t stop the show. The audience was still pouring their hearts out and tweeting to anyone who would listen, read and interact with the #iAmBeautiful chat. Here are a few powerful statements you may have missed…

  • I think learning to be comfortable with who you are comes from parenting. My mom always told me I could be whatever I want. I just better try to be the best at whatever that was. That allowed me to search and find out what and who I wanted to be. Now as a woman. Following God and being comfortable with who I’ve become has allowed me to be confident. We also need to be teaching the difference between entertainment and reality. Because those lines are so blurred - @LissaMarieONL
  • Most importantly get to know God! HE is the center of clarification for all things especially his most beautiful creation: YOU. And if you make it to the top pull your sisters up too! Provide them with resources or useful tools for success. Show the way. - @ashdaone1
  • We control who we follow, what we read and what we fill our brains with. Its about deciding what we pay attention to. – @beautyoftheweek
  • We need to start approaching women with open arms instead of a wagging finger… These type of discussions need to be in our schools and community centers (the ones still open) or in the street on a soapbox. Why do we teach Our Young girls to be mothers first instead of wives? We have to realize change starts with us.. our kids shouldnt raise themselves. - @Mr.Controversy
  • We have to get back to a ‘village’ mentality. We are family. We must raise each other.@lindseycholmes

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Please feel free to search the #iAmBeautiful hashtag for the full 1 1/2 hour chat. This is the first of many. People are already asking about the next one. Stay tuned. What were your thoughts about the chat?!

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Meet LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models + Join Our Live Twitter Chat!

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(LaShawnna Stanley – The Beautiful Lady in Red)

“I am obsessed with empowering women and making them look and feel beautiful from the inside out!”

 

LaShawnna Stanley, a beautiful woman of color, a teenage mom at the age of 15 and now a grandmother of four, has been a fighter her entire life and has made it her quest to empower women of color to love themselves.

Being a teenage mom LaShawnna refused to become a stereotype. As a no-nonsense self-taught entrepreneur she has been at the vanguard of redefining beauty through the agency she created, Ethnicity Models. LaShawnna teaches women to APPRECIATE their skin tones, unique features and varied silhouettes but NOT be exploited by them.

Ms. Stanley is a hero to women’s empowerment! She has appeared on national networks such as BET’s Hip-Hop vs. America, UPN news, and Vh1′s Hip-Hop Videos: Sexpolitation On The Set defending the rights of women in the music industry. LaShawnna has also been featured in major publications such as Black Enterprise, VIBE Magazine, The Source, Hip-Hop Weekly, KING, & XXL. Her company is the “go to” agency for hiring a diverse group of beautiful ethnic women, she’s hosted charitable events for Magic Johnson, Donald Trump, and Alonzo Mourning. As a favorite amongst A-List clientele; Diddy, Jamie Foxx, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Usher, and Kanye West only scratch the surface of her company’s infamous resume.

Through it all LaShawnna is resolute in her determination to help women of color realize their true potential. This can be seen as she visits schools and youth centers with her models to teach young girls, college students, teenage moms and women in general about self-esteem, believing in themselves, and following their dreams.

LaShawnna Stanley is a motivational/inspirational/informational speaker on a number of Hip Hop and women empowerment topics such as “Hip Hop & The Sexplotation of women” dissipate stereotypes and learn the truth about the women in hip hop music videos from an inside perspective. “Empowering Teen moms to beat the odds” Dream big and don’t limit yourself. “Empowering Women to become Entrepreneurs ” Create your own destiny. Become your own boss. Ms. Stanley is also available to facilitate modeling workshops and seminars.

Visit Ethnicity Models to learn more about LaShawnnas Modeling Agency. Be sure to tune into our Live Twitter Chat going down in 30 mins on Twitter. Simply join in or follow along with the hashtag #iAmBeautiful

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Join us for the #iAmBeautiful Live Twitter Chat – CONFIDENCE, IMAGE, SELF-ESTEEM

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I’m sure there has come a time in your life where you were unsure about who you were, what you wanted. Possibly even a little self conscious about the color of your skin, the texture of your hair and maybe you’ve even taken it as far as to compare yourself to the girl next door you thought was perfect. Well, she had issues too that you didn’t see and we’re here to talk about it.

Join us for our first ever Twitter Chat. Saturday September 7th @ 12 NOON est / 9AM pst. I will be your host @_noboizallowed , and will be conducting a Q & A with LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models. Read more about her story HERE. Our chat will be moderated by Mahogani B. Be sure to follow us all and let us know so we can follow you back. Our hashtag during the chat will be #iAmBeautiful so make sure you follow along and participate by tagging that phrase during our session. We are going to get to the bottom line of beauty and push past those barriers that were once holding us back. Tell a friend to join us as well. I promise, you don’t want to miss this.

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Morning Sensation || Simple Ways To Make Your Day A Great One From The Moment You Wake Up

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Q: WHAT DOES YOUR MORNING SCHEDULE CONSIST OF?

Most people despise early mornings. Me personally, I enjoy waking up early as long as I’m not obligated to but that’s rarely ever the case. Between work, meetings, appointments and such, mornings seem to be my daily struggle and I mean struggle in every form of the word. When I’m feeling really motivated, I try to trick myself into believing that the earlier I rise, the more I can accomplish in my day. After all, we only get 24 hours right? Anyway, instead of complaining every single day about the morning wake up call, I’ve found better ways to enjoy my mornings so I thought I’d share.

-SET YOUR ALARM 20MINS EARLIER THAN USUAL-

Yes I know, I’m cringing too. You mean earlier than the early time I’ve already scheduled in my alarm? Yes, earlier than that. Here’s the deal. Giving yourself more time in the morning to prep your hair, eat your breakfast, sing your favorite song, check your emails, etc. keeps you from rushing out of the house and out of the door. Which will also avoid forgetting something or not having the time to do something else.

-PUT YOUR ALARM ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM-

Yes, I’m out of my mind. But this habit makes it possible for you to get up to turn off the alarm. Once you’re up, your body recognizes you’re awake and you can start your day. Lazy who?

-EAT BREAKFAST-

Most important meal of the day right? Since I’ve been on a healthier lifestyle change, I’ve incorporated the phrase “eat like a King for breakfast, a Prince for lunch and a Peasant for dinner.” I promise you, it works. Since I’ve started, naturally my body craves breakfast which gets me through to lunch. By dinner time after I’m done working out, I’m able to eat lightly, shower and go to bed without scarfing down a Sunday family dinner like it’s my last meal on earth.

-AVOID THE INTERNET-

Unless it’s your job to check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Myspace (I can keep going here but you get the point by now), DON’T DO IT! The first things our mind focuses on in the morning can easily set the tone for the day. We don’t want you to see something you weren’t mentally or emotionally prepared for first thing in the morning and ruin your day so early. Perhaps you should wait until you’ve gotten yourself together.

-STRETCH-

If you have more than enough time, exercising is very beneficial in the morning. But if your time is running low, simply take 2 minutes to stretch. Stretching allows your blood to flow to every part of your body. Stretching also wakens the body and muscles up and will easily prepare you for those just in case moments.

-SIT IN SILENCE-

Whether you pray, meditate, quote affirmations, etc. whatever positive motivation you give yourself, do so in the mornings. This habit sets the tone for your day early on and will give you a positive, peaceful head start. While you’re sitting in silence, think of your goal for the day and try to remind yourself of said goal throughout the day.

-LOOK THE PART-

We woke up early enough not to rush today right? Good. Now make use of that extra 20 minutes and actually do your hair differently for a change. Wear a different shade of eyeshadow or even grab those cute heels instead of sandals today. Play up your look because when you look good, you feel good.

-SMILE-

Some of you may do it each morning but I won’t lie. I hardly ever smile at myself. Lately I’ve been trying to pay more attention to my facial expressions and the way I treat myself as well as speak to myself. One thing I’ve learned is that I love to smile. And when I look in the mirror and smile at myself, I feel amazing. Why not give yourself that boost of self love early in the morning? As you’re brushing your teeth, doing your hair or applying your make-up, just look up for a second and smile at yourself.

GOOD MORNING.!.

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Quarter-Life Crisis? I Thought I Had My 20-Somethings All Figured Out

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I THOUGHT I HAD MY LIFE ALL FIGURED OUT BUT GIRL WAS I WRONG. You see, I was always indecisive and slow at making decisions because I didn’t want to make the wrong ones so sometimes that resulted in no decision at all or me missing out on what could have been. I figured, when I finally did make a decision, it was the best one because it was long thought out and thoroughly planned. But this thing called life has a way of showing us what we’re truly made of and taking a turn in a completely different direction than the one we had mapped out for ourselves.

You might have guessed by now. I was going through a QUARTER LIFE CRISIS. The moment it hit me, I panicked and freaked out. I shrunk into a depressing stage in my life where I begin falling out with those I love whether it was friends or men. I was second and third guessing my possible career moves, my full time job and making sudden plans to move. I was straight up confused with life itself and no matter what happened to me or around me, I wasn’t happy. I researched and tried to read as much as possible about this “dramatic” stage in my life. I even watched Youtube videos titled “Quarter Life Crisis” thinking someone out there had the answers. But honestly, I didn’t know what I was looking for. I didn’t know what questions to even ask in order to receive the answers meant for me.

SO I PANICKED MORE. At 25, I wasn’t sure if it was time for me to just pick up everything, move on and try new things. You know they say 20′s are our discovering years. The years where we find out who we are, what we love, why we love it and by 30 is when things start to happen. But why wait? While everyone around me is getting married, having children, graduating college, traveling and diving head first into their careers, I’m sitting there stuck, confused and time is just passing me by. And don’t let me get started on these perfect lives lived on Instagram and Facebook. I had my moments where I wanted to scream because everyone’s lives were so perfect. So what do I do?

I was told not to speak to others about this because it was just a phase and it will eventually pass. But I truly feel like going through something is healthier in every form when expressing your exact moments. This is my way of being honest with myself and like I always say, you just never know who is going through the same thing. So back to the question. WHAT DO I DO?

….BE STILL. BE HONEST. EXPLORE…..

In that very moment, I vowed to let it all go. The worry, the panic, the comparing, the jealousy, the need to know all of the answers, the “my way or no way” attitude. Just let it go. Be still. Be honest. Explore.

Wish me luck.

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