For awhile I found myself feeling empty lost after spending excessive amount of time on Social Media. The internet is cool and Social Media is fun but I’ve found it to be entertainment when done in moderation. Focusing on the wrong things made it hard for me to be happy because although I felt like people were putting up a fake image, I just couldn’t help feeling depleted. It’s so easy to lose track of time and lose focus on what’s important when the world is all pointing the finger and telling you what’s hot, what’s not and why you’re not cool enough. Everything and everyone’s lives just seemed “perfect” and I couldn’t quite figure it out. Then I realized, it’s not you, it’s me.
I had to get over the hype of feeling like I “needed” to keep up and feel as though I wasn’t doing enough. In reality, I was burned out from doing too much. But compared to those I was focused on, it seemed as though I wasn’t doing anything. It didn’t hit me until I was applying for a position in the writing world that I saw all of my accomplishments on paper. I saw that my countless amount of hard work, time, dedication and lack of sleep meant something which amounted to the results I lived daily. In that moment I realized that the most important things to me weren’t on Instagram and many don’t see that part of my life. I realized I was good enough for exactly who I am and what I aim to become one day, so I decided to take a break from focusing on others and I began directing the attention back to me.
I decided to record this video for you and although there was only so much I could say in the allowed time, I knew if this was something I dealt with, someone had to have gone through it as well. Thankfully, I no longer spend time worrying about the who’s who unless she’s making a difference in someone else’s life. Then I would want to discuss how her role can join forces with us at No Boiz Allowed. But to those that are constantly fighting to keep up, sometimes it’s best just to keep still. A friend once said, get lost and find yourself. Well I did and I feel amazing with what I’ve found. How are you feeling?
Good Morning. This is week 2 of Monday Motivation with Daja Robinson of No Boiz Allowed. Today’s Topic is “Pull Back The Layers”. If you feel that something from your past is holding you back from moving forward, you may want to tune in. Leave your email address below and I will be sure to send over the Message of the Week along with your Personal Development Assignment. I hope to make Monday Motivation an ongoing thing but I can’t do that without your help. So the more support from you and the more people interested, the longer this will continue. If you provided your email address last week for Be YOUnique, you will receive this week’s email as well, unless you opt out.
P.S. These emails are not sent out without your consent. No spam, no ma’am.
Over the weekend I was invited to attend Girls Day which is a yearly activity day held by the Boys & Girls Club of Las Vegas, NV. With this being their 32nd Celebration, I was very happy to be apart of such a great experience. I was invited by my big sister (in my head) Ms. Alicia Gibbs, Founder of EVibes and I brought along my dear friend Kelly J aka DJ Kelly J for the ride in which we both loved every bit of.
In case you aren’t familiar with Girls Day, let me fill you in. There is a designated day that hundreds upon hundreds of girls ages 7-12 spend 3 hours enjoying fun games and activities, food and prizes. For every girl, there is a lady volunteer that she is partnered up with. Upon arrival we sign in, grab our tshirts (this years color was pink. You know we love pink!), and from there we are lined up; adults in one line, girls in the other. The first girl and first adult are paired, second girl and second adult are paired, and so on until there is no more pairing to be done. Thankfully this year there were more volunteers than there were girls. There were so many games to play that me and my Girl of the Day didn’t get a chance to play them all but overall, that didn’t stop us from enjoying the time spent and the laughs shared.
For me, meeting Greta sparked something in me. When I first got paired with her, I could instantly tell that she was very shy. From the moment I spoke to her and she didn’t respond, I knew that all I needed to do was make her feel comfortable around me. I was a new face and quite frankly, she was probably taught not to talk to strangers like most young girls are. So how could I blame her for being shy, scared even. I was once her. I immediately held her hand and talked her ear off telling her about myself and my favorite colors, Disney characters, movies, food, games and things that she could possibly relate to. In this moment, I felt so alive. I wasn’t trying to impress her with my job title, what Community I lived in or even explaining why I don’t have a car and why I prefer it that way because I’m sure she wouldn’t care and what benefit could it be for a 7 year old? She wasn’t concerned about any image and for those 3 hours, I was able to tune out the outside world and tune into the mind of a 7 year old.
After the first 20 minutes of me rambling and smiling so hard at Greta, she began to warm up to me. I noticed she would reach for my hand first before I thought to and she would laugh at my attempts to be funny. I felt like a big sister. We played games together, had lunch, snow combs, popcorn and cotton candy. Got our faces painted, took lots of pictures and she even read to me. She was extremely intelligent for her age and impressed me more times than I can count. The moment she told me “This is the best day ever. I’m going to go home and tell my brothers and they are going to be so jealous. And I want to put our pictures on my framed cork board on the wall above my bed.” I realized that 3 hours of my time that I would have probably spent online searching the web, blogging or even running errands, could have possibly changed a little girls life. She probably feels as though I inspired her but she was the one to inspire me. I encourage you all to value your time and share it with those who’s lives you could possibly change.
I want to thank Alicia and the Boys and Girls Club for making my day one to remember. Until next year…
My Monday Motivational emails are now HERE! This has been an idea of mine since summertime of last year. I will admit, I’ve been holding back from actually following through because I was afraid. Afraid that sending out emails with my thoughts and experiences just wasn’t good enough. There’s a difference between direct emails and blogging on this site. Weird, I know. But in a weird way I was waiting for the perfect moment but I realized the perfect moment will never come if I don’t create it myself. So today I leaped.
“Start where you are today with what you have.” – If not now, then when?
Mondays for some people are a complete drag so let me help you start your week off with a little motivation, humor and thought provoking messages. If you would like to receive these emails once a week (I promise I won’t spam you), be sure to leave your email address below in the comments section. I’ve already sent out my first 10 emails this morning and I appreciate the feedback. I can’t say how long this will last but I will get through the month of March.
Have you ever sat back and realized that you don’t know yourself as well as you thought you did? Well, you’re not the only one. Thoughts run through our minds daily and we may not realize how much control we have over our minds but that is simply because we’re not always honest with ourselves. Give yourself a chance to ask the right questions honestly and your mind and possibly your actions will change. I’ve come up with 50 questions for you and I to ask ourselves so don’t be afraid to answer them. Your answers may scare you or simply motivate you. It’s up to you.
01. Who am I?
02. What am I passionate about?
03. What do I have to lose if I just did that one thing I’ve always wanted to do?
04. When was the last time I tried something new?
05. What is one change I can make about myself to bring more peace and happiness to my life?
06. Am I proud to tell people where I work?
07. When was the last time I was proud of myself?
08. What would I do differently if I knew others wouldn’t judge me?
09. Do I ask enough questions or do I settle for what I know?
10. How much of my spirituality plays a role in my life?
11. If I could choose one song to describe my life, what would it be?
12. Do the 5 people I spend the most time with reflect who I am, want to be and achieve in life?
13. What habits would I like to quit? pick up?
14. When do I feel the most inspired? (morning, night, after talking to a specific someone, etc)
15. Am I content with my current state of finances?
16. How can I make more money doing what I love?
17. What do I want more of in my life? (list it)
18. What do I want less of in my life? (list it)
19. What am I afraid of?
20. What and who makes me smile?
21. Did I do my best today?
22. Who would cry the most at my funeral?
23. What am I most grateful for?
24. Do I make people feel good about themselves?
25. Do I allow other people to talk to me the way I sometimes talk to myself?
26. Do I take the advice I tend to give?
27. Is there anything or anyone from my past that I need to let go of that is holding me back from my future?
28. If there were no limitations on money, how would I live my life?
29. What do I want to accomplish in 1 year, 3 years, 5 and 10 years?
30. How many times have I been in love?
31. What have I learned from each relationship?
32. What do I want in an ideal partner?
32. What are my best qualities?
34. When was the last time I said “no” to someone?
35. How important is other people’s opinions about me, to me?
36. Am I settling in life?
37. How much am I willing to sacrifice to make my dreams become my reality?
38. Do I tend to compare myself to others?
39. What does a perfect day for me consist of from morning to night?
40. What good qualities that the people I admire, share?
41. When is the last time I visited a doctor for a clean bill of health? (dentist, physical, eye exams, etc)
42. What has been my greatest achievement this far?
43. How do I want to leave this earth and be remembered?
44. What are my favorite hobbies?
45. What does happiness look like to me?
46. What is my deepest secret?
47. Am I a great friend to others?
48. Who are the 3 people who have had the greatest influence on me in the past and the 3 in the present?
49. Do I listen more to my heart or to my brain?
50. What has been the biggest change for me in the last 5 years?
If answered with 100% honesty, some of these questions just may spark a change in you. But you will never know until you do it.
A few months ago I had a conversation with my grandma that put a spark in me. One that was never really there before. I was a little down and out about my situation at the time and was just venting to her because I tell her basically everything. She listened the whole time and let me vent to her about whatever was on my mind without saying a word. Then when I was finished she simply told me, smile and be happy for who you are, how far you’ve made it and who you’re becoming. Accept it. And another thing, whatever your situation is at the moment is only temporary but never lose yourself. If you’re used to making yourself happy by doing certain things, do them.
That was all I needed to hear. I’ve been learning to accept myself more and more and worrying less and less of the opinions of others. Yes, I want to make a great impression and be an influence but I will not do things that aren’t true to my authenticity. It was placed on my heart to share this with you. In case you needed to hear it. Smile and accept who you are and trust that the woman you are becoming is already wonderfully made.
Have you figured out the perfect skin care regimen that can have you leaving the house with 100% no makeup and still feel confident and secure? Me either. But I know it’s out there and with trial and error, I’m definitely on the road to finding it. Kelly Rowland recently graced the pages of People Magazine to be featured on the “Most Beautiful” list. And that she is. “I started wearing makeup at 14 for Destiny’s Child,” says Rowland, who’s releasing her solo album Talk a Good Game in June. “I remember the first time I saw my lashes with mascara on them – it was my favorite thing. For me, makeup reminds me of work. Without it, I feel natural and untouched.”
But I’m no Kelly Rowland. I’ve had problematic skin for quite some time now. For me, growing up I’ve never quite needed or wanted to wear make-up as a normal thing. With the occasional mascara and lipgloss I was good to go. You see, living and growing up in California, the moisture from the Ocean was the perfect touch of happiness and glow that a girl needed to add to her skin care routine but I made a big move to Las Vegas where there is nothing but desert and 100+ degree weather and boy oh boy, my skin suffered because of that. For a long time the lack of the right healthcare insurance discouraged me from visiting Dermatologist and over the years I found things that would work but if it wasn’t the occasional break-outs, it was the dark spots and hyper-pigmentation from the sun and old acne scars. So it became a revolving door. Once I was fortunate to find employment with good health benefits, I took an interest in a more natural approach to healing. But for that it’s never certain either. One minute I’m fine and the next I don’t want to leave my house.
I know our appearance, especially our skin is our pride and joy and people judge you based off of face value before you even open your mouth. So as important as skin care is, a few things I’ve noticed that definitely help to simplify my skin care routine and gives me better results is:
Drinking 1 Gallon of Water Daily
Sweating as much as possible (working out, hot yoga, face steaming)
Eating more Fruits and Veggies
Toning with Witch Hazel
Lemon Mask (3x’s a week)
2 Fish Oil Gel Tablets (daily)
SIMPLE Moisturizing Cleanser
Aveeno Positively Radiant Moisturizer (w/SPF 15)
So far that’s it for me. I use different products here and there but I haven’t fallen in love with many. Let’s open this up for discussion, what skin care regimen do you swear by and what are some tips you would like to share that has helped you with your skin problems (if any)?
Last month Gabrielle Union gave a speech at the Essence’s Black Women In Hollywood Luncheon. And after reading her speech, it made me gain another type of love for her. Now we’ve seen her work all over the big screen and we have also seen parts of her love life displayed all over the media whether we wanted to or not. But that doesn’t take away from her being human.
I personally agreed with Gabrielle’s honesty and have found myself in situations similar. With different backgrounds and scenarios yes, but as a woman feeling as though I didn’t measure up to my peers, it took a long time for me to find my own lane and stick to it. Thank you Gabby for sharing your heart with us.
“We live in a town that rewards pretending. I had been pretending to be fierce and fearless for a very long time. I was a victim masquerading as a survivor. I stayed when I should have run. I was quiet when I should have spoken up. I turned a blind eye to injustice instead of having the courage to stand up for what’s right. I used to shrink in the presence of other dope beautiful women. I used to revel in gossip and rumors, and I lived for the negativity inflicted upon my sister actresses or anyone who I felt whose shine diminished my own.
It’s easy to pretend to be fierce and fearless because living your truth takes real courage.
Real fearless and fierce women admit mistakes and they work to correct them. We stand up and we use our voices for things other than self promotion. We don’t stand by and letracism and sexism and homophobia run rapid on our watch. Real fearless and fierce women compliment other women and we recognize and embrace that their shine in no way diminishes our light and that it actually makes our light shine brighter.
So many of us in this room are sisters. We don’t always get to see each other and its good to see you here today. Women who we’ve laughed with, cried with, and struggled with, thank you for not turning your back on me.
Thank you for not tap dancing on my misery, even when I wasn’t always returning the favor.”
1. In short, who is DeAira Williams and what does she do? I believe that is still to be determined because everyday I grow in new ways; I’m constantly evolving. But, one thing that remains the same is that I am driven by the art of music and my determination to achieve everything I set my mind to. I produce and compose music which allows me to express myself in a way that words can’t reach. I feel as though when you are creating in any art form words are meaningless because expression is driven by the creativity of your emotions, you know, it’s how you feel.
2. We are all attracted to different careers but you chose music/producing. Tell us how that come about?Ever since I can remember I have always been attracted to music. Some of my earliest memories trace back to when I was 4 years old. I remember making up my own raps and songs then. As I got older I kept writing and wanted to pursue a career in writing music but couldn’t ﬁnd a producer/composer who illustrated the kind of tracks I wanted. So I started making my own tracks and it stuck.
3. After receiving a basketball scholarship for a career you thought you loved, to one day realizing your heart was in music, what have you learned about the importance in following your heart and chasing your dreams? I’ve learned that you must always check yourself and be aware of what you are doing. I realized that I did like basketball but there was something lingering that I never fully gave the proper attention to. If you have something that haunts you then you probably should be doing that. I learned that the price of an unfulﬁlled dream/ goal is steep.
4. In a world of competitors and every one aiming to be better than the next, how do you stand out among your peers in the same industry as yourself?I want to stand out by creating something that people can feel and that resonates with their emotions. I’m also trying to push the envelope and expand my range. I try to make various types of music and one thing I’ve found that remains the same, no matter what type of music it is, is that good music hits people’s core. As long as you keep it pure you’ll be alright.
5. In a male dominating field (Producer/Composer) what has your experience been like thus far? Negative/positive? when dealing with other producers? I haven’t came across any discrimination, at least to my face, for being a female producer/composer. I don’t view it that way either. I feel as though there is only one type that matters and that’s the good ones. I focus on being the best I can be, and not being the best for a girl. I don’t portray myself as a female producer I’m just a producer, and I think people treat me the way I perceive myself.
At Deaira’s Listening Party for Love Among Other Things. Pictured with (from L to R) Kelly J, Deaira, Keiara Katz and myself.
6. When you feel like giving up and going back to your comfort zone, what/who inspires you to move forward and not look back?My love for music inspires me and I think about what I really want out of life. That allows me to refocus and relight the ﬁre. I have also found that I am in love with music as a whole not just creating it, and everyday my love gets deeper. Plus there is an amazing feeling that I get when I create something so dope; I feed off that.
7. Are there any artist, male or female that you feel would vibe best with your art and that you haven’t yet but would like to work with? There are so many people that I want to work with, I would just say everyone. To just name a few Kat Dhalia, Leah Labelle, Jhene Aiko, The- Dream, Missy Elliott, Miguel and Jeremih.
8. I’m curious to know, how long does it actually take you to finish a track? Your shortest time? Longest time?It honestly depends. There have been times where it takes months or an hour an a half. I don’t like forcing anything so if I don’t have anything I just stop and come back to it. There are other times when I can’t keep up fast enough.
9. Where does DeAira see herself in 5 years?Being a well sought after producer/composer with my own production company. Working on someone’s project like how Timbaland will produce someone’s whole album. I think thats dope.
10. For those that want to keep up with your work, where can you be reached?People can check my sitedeaira.net twitter/instagram: d3aira
Following the 1ˢᵀ visual installment for the beat tape ‘Love Among Other Things‘ is the single track artwork and audio entitled “Bitter Sweet” produced/composed by Las Vegas native DeAira. ‘Love Among Other Things‘ is set to release May of 2013.
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