Girl Talk

INDEPENDENT WOMEN: Let A Man Be A Man Or You Will Be Single Forever – #WhyMenLove

 #WHYMENLOVE

[ LAST TUESDAY NO BOIZ ALLOWED CONDUCTED A RELATIONSHIP DISCUSSION ON TWITTER. THE TOPIC WAS IN REVIEW OF OUR LATEST BOOK CLUB READ "WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES".  - FOR THOSE THAT DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO READ IT, THEY WERE STILL ABLE TO PARTICIPATE WITHOUT FEELING LOST - THIS CHAT WAS VERY INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST. WITH DIFFERENCES IN OPINION, IT MADE FOR GREAT CONVERSATION. THERE WERE EVEN LOTS OF FUNNY MOMENTS. I WAS GOING TO BREAK THIS DOWN INTO ONE BIG RECAP BUT I DECIDED, WHY NOT FILL YOU IN ON THE DIALOGUE ONE QUESTION AT A TIME. ]

HOW CAN AN “INDEPENDENT” WOMAN ALLOW A MAN TO BE THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

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Submit to a real man- 

Interindependence - 

Compromise on putting pride to the side. letting the man lead is hard sometimes after being independent.  - 

This one was hard for me, and Im still working on it. you get use to doing it all, in between relationships.  - 

Allow him to be a man. Not every man communicates in an over-romanticized way. The little things do matter.  - 

Work with him, be a teammate. If y’all been dating he should know and encourage your drive, and match it  - 

There’s a time/place for men to b men & independent women to b independent shouldnt b difficult to navigate  - 

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DO YOU AGREE WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS TOPIC?

Feel free to answer in the comments section below.

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Mother’s Day Isn’t Always Happy… I Shed A Tear For You Today!

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As I sit here and think about this day which is meant to be a special one, I can’t help but to hold close to my heart the unseen and unknown that some may call inevitable while others may call a nightmare. The only thing that seems to take up space in my mind today are friends and strangers who have to deal with the unhappiness, the coldness and only the memories of their mothers. I can’t help but to imagine the images that are replaying in your head of the good days, the laughs, the smiles and maybe even the arguments. As I sit here and think about those of you as well as my self that aren’t as close with our own mothers as we would hope to one day be. As we look at other mother and daughter relationships and daydream as if it were us in their place. As I sit here and think about the woman who wants so desperately to give life to a child but is feeling cursed because her health lacks in ways that are out of her control only to be replaced with resentment toward the careless, selfish mothers undeserving of such a title. I clench my pen a little tighter and write a little faster as I think of the mothers that have unwillingly lost their child before his or her time. As you feel cursed and lost in this world trying to find the strength to go on without your child. I think about the sleeping beauties we call grandma that have taken the place of our birth mothers, to raise us up as her own. . .

You are not forgotten. I pray that on this day and everyday that peace mends your heart. I pray that strength builds you up and love pours down abundantly on you. I pray that you keep going when you feel weak and allow yourself to heal. Wherever you are, whoever you are, Happy Mother’s Day.

No Boiz Allowed

“PEOPLE SAY TIME HEELS ALL WOUNDS. TIME DOESN’T HEEL ALL WOUNDS. IT’S WHAT WE DO DURING THAT TIME THAT HEELS ALL WOUNDS.” Pastor Clinton House

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#iAmBeautiful Twitter Chat Recap – See How It All Went Down

#iAmBeautiful

Saturday Sept. 7th at 9AM PST / 12 Noon EST kicked off No Boiz Allowed‘s 1st ever Twitter Chat as an introduction to the I Am Beautiful Movement and Campaign. I had the pleasure of interviewing LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models, live while the participating audience engaged in the conversation as well. The overall chat was amazing as we discussed topics about Self Love, Image and Confidence. The ladies brought their A-Game and honesty to the table and we may have even gained a few friends along the way. Yes, new friends. No thanks to Drake. There was a total of 33 women and even 2 fellas chatting away at once and I am completely grateful for all of your support. In case you missed it, here is a recap of the interview itself between myself and @MsEthnicity

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Q1. AS A TEENAGE MOM, WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION TO OVERCOME THE OBSTACLES YOU FACED AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE?
A1. Having to struggle motivated me to want more for my daughter so she wouldn’t have to face the same obstacles.

Q2. WHAT ARE THE KEY COMPONENTS WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS MUST HAVE TO BUILDING ONES SELF-ESTEEM?
A2. A few keys to building self esteem: learn to love yourself, not seeking validation from others, stop comparing yourself. Not comparing yourself to others is one of the key factors in overcoming low self esteem. Also realize that building self esteem is very similar to working out. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a continual process. Delete negative ppl out your life. Others negative words and thoughts is like throwing gasoline on a fire.

Q3. IT’S EASY TO SAY TO SOMEONE “BE YOURSELF” BUT HOW DO WE GO ABOUT FIGURING OUT WHO WE TRULY ARE?
A3. I recommend using daily positive thought affirmations, that helps reprogram ur subconscious mind. “I love myself, I am beautiful just the way God made me and everybody loves me!”  is a good one. If the negative ppl are family members it’s okay to love them from a distance. Everyone doesn’t have to be in your everyday life. Finding out who you really are requires being totally open, honest with yourself about yourself!

We often build up false images about ourselves in order to cope with the things we don’t like about who we are. We have to get butt naked to our soul, drop all the masks and be honest about our faults, who we are, what we want and what we need. We often build who we think we are based off the opinions of others, past life experiences, our environment etc. We have to let all of that go andgo within! You can only find your true self by dropping all false identities.

Q4. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY CAN WE PLACE ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN REGARDS TO OUR SELF-ESTEEM?
A4. We should place 0 responsibility on social media for our self esteem it’s called “SELF” esteem not “others” esteem. Social media gives people a false sense of validation. A bunch of strangers opinions have nothing to do with who you really are. Self esteem isn’t what others think, it’s what and how you feel about yourself truly on the inside. Social media should be used to have fun and sell whatever the hell it is u are selling! Anything else is hog wash! Don’t believe the hype!

Q5. GIRLS GROWING UP W/O POSITIVE INFLUENCES, WHO ARE SOME PEOPLE THEY CAN LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE & HOW DO WE MAKE OURSELVES AVAILABLE TO PLAY THAT ROLE IN THEIR LIVES?
A5. Self help books can be one of the best ways of guidance for girls without positive roles models in their lives. Also the Internet is our best friend. You can listen to positive people like Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, Oprah and others online. As women we can volunteer with young girls and women organizations targeted to help women…we can also simply live by example.

Q6. HOW DO WE TEACH OUR YOUNG GIRLS TO BE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN THE SKIN THEY’RE IN? (HAIR, SKIN COMPLEXION, BODY IMAGE, ETC)
A6. Teaching young girls to be confident with themselves has to start at an early age. It starts at home. Having dolls that reflect the way they look help in a major way with girls looking at themselves as beautiful. Turn the tv off! We don’t want tv dictating how our kids feel about themselves based off of images on tv. Studying history about women that look like them at a early age helps with building self esteem. Involving young girls in activities that make them feel better about them selves is a good way as well.

Q7. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY DO WE PLACE ON OURSELVES FOR THE NEGATIVE WAY SOME MEN TREAT US? DO WE MAKE IT OKAY?
A7. We dictate how people treat us! If you accept negative treatment, you receive negative treatment. Also the energy we resonate about how we feel about ourselves dictate how people treat us. Look up quantum physics. Treat yourself like a queen, act like a queen and be treated like a queen! Settle for nothing less!

Tweet_Chat

And that was only LaShawnna’s answers. The other ladies went in as well and made really great points. But by then, I was placed in twitter jail from tweeting, retweeting and talking too much (side eye). However, that didn’t stop the show. The audience was still pouring their hearts out and tweeting to anyone who would listen, read and interact with the #iAmBeautiful chat. Here are a few powerful statements you may have missed…

  • I think learning to be comfortable with who you are comes from parenting. My mom always told me I could be whatever I want. I just better try to be the best at whatever that was. That allowed me to search and find out what and who I wanted to be. Now as a woman. Following God and being comfortable with who I’ve become has allowed me to be confident. We also need to be teaching the difference between entertainment and reality. Because those lines are so blurred - @LissaMarieONL
  • Most importantly get to know God! HE is the center of clarification for all things especially his most beautiful creation: YOU. And if you make it to the top pull your sisters up too! Provide them with resources or useful tools for success. Show the way. - @ashdaone1
  • We control who we follow, what we read and what we fill our brains with. Its about deciding what we pay attention to. – @beautyoftheweek
  • We need to start approaching women with open arms instead of a wagging finger… These type of discussions need to be in our schools and community centers (the ones still open) or in the street on a soapbox. Why do we teach Our Young girls to be mothers first instead of wives? We have to realize change starts with us.. our kids shouldnt raise themselves. - @Mr.Controversy
  • We have to get back to a ‘village’ mentality. We are family. We must raise each other.@lindseycholmes

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Please feel free to search the #iAmBeautiful hashtag for the full 1 1/2 hour chat. This is the first of many. People are already asking about the next one. Stay tuned. What were your thoughts about the chat?!

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Meet LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models + Join Our Live Twitter Chat!

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(LaShawnna Stanley – The Beautiful Lady in Red)

“I am obsessed with empowering women and making them look and feel beautiful from the inside out!”

 

LaShawnna Stanley, a beautiful woman of color, a teenage mom at the age of 15 and now a grandmother of four, has been a fighter her entire life and has made it her quest to empower women of color to love themselves.

Being a teenage mom LaShawnna refused to become a stereotype. As a no-nonsense self-taught entrepreneur she has been at the vanguard of redefining beauty through the agency she created, Ethnicity Models. LaShawnna teaches women to APPRECIATE their skin tones, unique features and varied silhouettes but NOT be exploited by them.

Ms. Stanley is a hero to women’s empowerment! She has appeared on national networks such as BET’s Hip-Hop vs. America, UPN news, and Vh1′s Hip-Hop Videos: Sexpolitation On The Set defending the rights of women in the music industry. LaShawnna has also been featured in major publications such as Black Enterprise, VIBE Magazine, The Source, Hip-Hop Weekly, KING, & XXL. Her company is the “go to” agency for hiring a diverse group of beautiful ethnic women, she’s hosted charitable events for Magic Johnson, Donald Trump, and Alonzo Mourning. As a favorite amongst A-List clientele; Diddy, Jamie Foxx, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Usher, and Kanye West only scratch the surface of her company’s infamous resume.

Through it all LaShawnna is resolute in her determination to help women of color realize their true potential. This can be seen as she visits schools and youth centers with her models to teach young girls, college students, teenage moms and women in general about self-esteem, believing in themselves, and following their dreams.

LaShawnna Stanley is a motivational/inspirational/informational speaker on a number of Hip Hop and women empowerment topics such as “Hip Hop & The Sexplotation of women” dissipate stereotypes and learn the truth about the women in hip hop music videos from an inside perspective. “Empowering Teen moms to beat the odds” Dream big and don’t limit yourself. “Empowering Women to become Entrepreneurs ” Create your own destiny. Become your own boss. Ms. Stanley is also available to facilitate modeling workshops and seminars.

Visit Ethnicity Models to learn more about LaShawnnas Modeling Agency. Be sure to tune into our Live Twitter Chat going down in 30 mins on Twitter. Simply join in or follow along with the hashtag #iAmBeautiful

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Join us for the #iAmBeautiful Live Twitter Chat – CONFIDENCE, IMAGE, SELF-ESTEEM

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I’m sure there has come a time in your life where you were unsure about who you were, what you wanted. Possibly even a little self conscious about the color of your skin, the texture of your hair and maybe you’ve even taken it as far as to compare yourself to the girl next door you thought was perfect. Well, she had issues too that you didn’t see and we’re here to talk about it.

Join us for our first ever Twitter Chat. Saturday September 7th @ 12 NOON est / 9AM pst. I will be your host @_noboizallowed , and will be conducting a Q & A with LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models. Read more about her story HERE. Our chat will be moderated by Mahogani B. Be sure to follow us all and let us know so we can follow you back. Our hashtag during the chat will be #iAmBeautiful so make sure you follow along and participate by tagging that phrase during our session. We are going to get to the bottom line of beauty and push past those barriers that were once holding us back. Tell a friend to join us as well. I promise, you don’t want to miss this.

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