Saturday Sept. 7th at 9AM PST / 12 Noon EST kicked off No Boiz Allowed‘s 1st ever Twitter Chat as an introduction to the I Am Beautiful Movement and Campaign. I had the pleasure of interviewing LaShawnna Stanley, CEO of Ethnicity Models, live while the participating audience engaged in the conversation as well. The overall chat was amazing as we discussed topics about Self Love, Image and Confidence. The ladies brought their A-Game and honesty to the table and we may have even gained a few friends along the way. Yes, new friends. No thanks to Drake. There was a total of 33 women and even 2 fellas chatting away at once and I am completely grateful for all of your support. In case you missed it, here is a recap of the interview itself between myself and @MsEthnicity
Q1. AS A TEENAGE MOM, WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION TO OVERCOME THE OBSTACLES YOU FACED AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE?
A1. Having to struggle motivated me to want more for my daughter so she wouldn’t have to face the same obstacles.
Q2. WHAT ARE THE KEY COMPONENTS WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS MUST HAVE TO BUILDING ONES SELF-ESTEEM?
A2. A few keys to building self esteem: learn to love yourself, not seeking validation from others, stop comparing yourself. Not comparing yourself to others is one of the key factors in overcoming low self esteem. Also realize that building self esteem is very similar to working out. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a continual process. Delete negative ppl out your life. Others negative words and thoughts is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
Q3. IT’S EASY TO SAY TO SOMEONE “BE YOURSELF” BUT HOW DO WE GO ABOUT FIGURING OUT WHO WE TRULY ARE?
A3. I recommend using daily positive thought affirmations, that helps reprogram ur subconscious mind. “I love myself, I am beautiful just the way God made me and everybody loves me!” is a good one. If the negative ppl are family members it’s okay to love them from a distance. Everyone doesn’t have to be in your everyday life. Finding out who you really are requires being totally open, honest with yourself about yourself!
We often build up false images about ourselves in order to cope with the things we don’t like about who we are. We have to get butt naked to our soul, drop all the masks and be honest about our faults, who we are, what we want and what we need. We often build who we think we are based off the opinions of others, past life experiences, our environment etc. We have to let all of that go andgo within! You can only find your true self by dropping all false identities.
Q4. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY CAN WE PLACE ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN REGARDS TO OUR SELF-ESTEEM?
A4. We should place 0 responsibility on social media for our self esteem it’s called “SELF” esteem not “others” esteem. Social media gives people a false sense of validation. A bunch of strangers opinions have nothing to do with who you really are. Self esteem isn’t what others think, it’s what and how you feel about yourself truly on the inside. Social media should be used to have fun and sell whatever the hell it is u are selling! Anything else is hog wash! Don’t believe the hype!
Q5. GIRLS GROWING UP W/O POSITIVE INFLUENCES, WHO ARE SOME PEOPLE THEY CAN LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE & HOW DO WE MAKE OURSELVES AVAILABLE TO PLAY THAT ROLE IN THEIR LIVES?
A5. Self help books can be one of the best ways of guidance for girls without positive roles models in their lives. Also the Internet is our best friend. You can listen to positive people like Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, Oprah and others online. As women we can volunteer with young girls and women organizations targeted to help women…we can also simply live by example.
Q6. HOW DO WE TEACH OUR YOUNG GIRLS TO BE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN THE SKIN THEY’RE IN? (HAIR, SKIN COMPLEXION, BODY IMAGE, ETC)
A6. Teaching young girls to be confident with themselves has to start at an early age. It starts at home. Having dolls that reflect the way they look help in a major way with girls looking at themselves as beautiful. Turn the tv off! We don’t want tv dictating how our kids feel about themselves based off of images on tv. Studying history about women that look like them at a early age helps with building self esteem. Involving young girls in activities that make them feel better about them selves is a good way as well.
Q7. HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY DO WE PLACE ON OURSELVES FOR THE NEGATIVE WAY SOME MEN TREAT US? DO WE MAKE IT OKAY?
A7. We dictate how people treat us! If you accept negative treatment, you receive negative treatment. Also the energy we resonate about how we feel about ourselves dictate how people treat us. Look up quantum physics. Treat yourself like a queen, act like a queen and be treated like a queen! Settle for nothing less!
And that was only LaShawnna’s answers. The other ladies went in as well and made really great points. But by then, I was placed in twitter jail from tweeting, retweeting and talking too much (side eye). However, that didn’t stop the show. The audience was still pouring their hearts out and tweeting to anyone who would listen, read and interact with the #iAmBeautiful chat. Here are a few powerful statements you may have missed…
- I think learning to be comfortable with who you are comes from parenting. My mom always told me I could be whatever I want. I just better try to be the best at whatever that was. That allowed me to search and find out what and who I wanted to be. Now as a woman. Following God and being comfortable with who I’ve become has allowed me to be confident. We also need to be teaching the difference between entertainment and reality. Because those lines are so blurred – @LissaMarieONL
- Most importantly get to know God! HE is the center of clarification for all things especially his most beautiful creation: YOU. And if you make it to the top pull your sisters up too! Provide them with resources or useful tools for success. Show the way. – @ashdaone1
- We control who we follow, what we read and what we fill our brains with. Its about deciding what we pay attention to. – @beautyoftheweek
- We need to start approaching women with open arms instead of a wagging finger… These type of discussions need to be in our schools and community centers (the ones still open) or in the street on a soapbox. Why do we teach Our Young girls to be mothers first instead of wives? We have to realize change starts with us.. our kids shouldnt raise themselves. – @Mr.Controversy
- We have to get back to a ‘village’ mentality. We are family. We must raise each other. – @lindseycholmes
Please feel free to search the #iAmBeautiful hashtag for the full 1 1/2 hour chat. This is the first of many. People are already asking about the next one. Stay tuned. What were your thoughts about the chat?!